Monday, May 01, 2006

They Don't Call It Porn Valley For Nothing

Encino, CA

The Valley is the porn capitol of the world. No, really. Something like 3,900 adult films are shot in L.A. every year. Whole chunks of the city were built on the backs... well, boobs, actually, of the skin trade.

For some reason, seems the locals aren't too thrilled with that.
When the call sheet calls for neither witty patter nor rich Corinthian leather but instead for orgiastic sex, cachet isn't what the neighbors talk about. Morality, their children's physical safety, property values — those are the topics on many people's minds.

What do you mean, there's no witty patter or rich Corinthian leather. Why some of the dialog of those films is outstanding! And leather? Hell, they got leather in spades.

But I really love that last one. Property values. God forbid they shoot gay porn over there. "Whoa! That triple anal just cost my house $20K!"
Sure, the neighbors concede, they didn't actually see any nudity or obscene activity, but the mere idea that it was going on next door bothered them.

Because after all, with all those children in their houses, it's not like the neighbors have actually, you know, fucked.

Now here's a question. How many of you fathers in that neighborhood have some of those movies stashed in your underwear drawer? Come on. Raise your hands. Don't be shy.

Okay, I get it. They don't want their children exposed to a bunch of overly tanned, silicone hootered bimbos doing blow off each others asses, banging guys hung like horses, bent over the kitchen sink while they're eating Wheaties.

Excuse me. I'm having a moment. It was the Wheaties.

Anyway...

Of course, it doesn't help when they're living next door to a house that everybody wants to shoot at.
Not 24 hours after the Califa trucks drove off, a new crew arrived. This time it was Playboy Entertainment Group, working on a reality television show. The Playboy shoot went through the end of the week, with dozens of trucks entering and exiting the cul-de-sac.

Last Monday yet another company arrived, PW Productions — this time to shoot explicit DVD and video cover art for a series of adult films.

Apparently Larry Flynt was supposed to shoot there, too, but pussied out at the last minute.

There's a lot of talk about the encroaching of Los Angeles on the local wildlife, but what about the encroachment of the adult trade on gentrified neighborhoods? It's like anything else that's considered undesirable. The more gentrified the city gets, the more there will be clashes between the residents, and some of the less savory realities.

In the meantime, enjoy the show boys and girls. If you stand on the upstairs toilet and get the binoculars, you can just make out the pool scene.

1 comment:

Dave LaFontaine said...

I used to help run a location company. We had a special section called "Houses that Do the Unholy" for houses that were willing to do porno shoots. Most of the houses that do this stuff are very, very very well-known to experienced crews, and some come with their own problems - such as an enthusiastic 80-something guy who likes to watch the shoots while nekkid and goes through the lunch line dangling his withered schnitzel into the plastic canisters of industrial potato salad.