Christ. What a weekend.
Spent it at Thrillerfest in Phoenix hanging out with writers who have a vested interest in all things criminal. Hey, where else do you get to sit in on a virtual autopsy and discuss the finer points of knife fighting and bar brawls? Had a fantastic time and met more people than I can possibly remember. Mostly due to the alcohol.
I'm gonna take a cue from Sarah Weinman (who I finally got a chance to meet and she is even cooler in person than she is online, and that's saying something) here and do this bullet-style, because trying to parse this thing into a blog post is like trying to shove a fat man through an airplane window. My memory's fuzzy on what I had for lunch, don't ask me what the hell I did at 2am. Besides, the cops already have the surveillance tapes.
- If one more person says to me, "But it's a dry heat," I'm shoving a 2x4 up their ass.
- "It's an honor just to be nominated."
- Everybody at this thing was cool. Well, there was that one guy, but we won't talk about him. Yeah, I mean you, mullet boy.
- The Killer Year crowd is goddamn amazing. Every single last one of them. The t-shirts and hats were great. Buy their novels. For all your friends. Strangers, too. Repeatedly.
- Speaking of which, I was lucky enough to meet the following members of the Class of 2007: Brett Battles, Toni Mcgee Causey, JT Ellison, Robert Gregory Brown, Phil Hawley and Jason Pinter. All amazing, fun and friendly people, who were gracious enough to not press charges. Thank you.
- You still owe me a drink, Toni.
- "Hey, I'm a fuckin' nominee!"
- Arizona has drive through liquor stores, which would never work in Los Angeles. How would they get robbed? The guy inside just has to close the little window and wait it out. The black market economy would collapse in a weekend.
- Sorority girls at national conferences are scarier than clowns at an Oklahoma carnie. No, really.
- I have things to say about Rhoades and Terrenoire, but an investigation is pending, and I really can't go into details before the deposition. Suffice to say that a weekend spent with these two is like Mayberry: CSI. I hope to god I can do it again soon.
- "Can I have an A-men?!"
- If MJ Rose asks you if you want a screaming orgasm... well, handle yourself better than I did.
- Pat Mullan is one of the nicest Irishmen I've ever met. The fact that I didn't wake up in a gutter with a shiv in my back is testament to how cool a man he is.
- When I drink, I get VERY LOUD.
- Kimberly Stem is a cool Texan. I say this because at some point she might wander over here and if she sees that I haven't mentioned her she will threaten me with bodily injury. I take her threats seriously. Texas women scare me.
- Paul Guyot has one of the loudest Hawaiian shirts I think I've ever seen on a white boy, and is one of the coolest and most enthusiastic people I've ever met.
- I learned how to pronounce John Leos... Laoscr... Loesc- That John guy with the funky name. I just can't spell it.
- Elizabeth Krecker has one of the coolest book ideas I've heard in a long time. She will go far because she is incredibly nice and deserves nice things.
- I think I finally figured out how to pronounce Mindy Tarquini's last name. I'm still having trouble with Angie's however.
- The Arizona Biltmore is freakin' huge, outrageously expensive and worth every penny.
So, in all, it was a good time.