Okay, this isn't crime, but it's goddamn funny. At least, I think so. And really, round these parts that's all that matters. God, I'm such a narcissist.
The Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Company (based in Valencia. Go figure.) makes a bunch of talking religious dolls. These foot high plastic icons spout various bible verses, presumably when a string is pulled a la "The Cow Goes Mooooooooo".
Anyway, the company decided to donate 4,000 to the Marine Reserves' Toys for Tots program.
The Marines opted not to accept them saying, "We can't take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family."
Now that really is a pity. I can just imagine a nice Jewish boy opening a Hanukkah gift and finding the Lord God Our Savior staring at him and screaming "No! Not the nails! NOT THE NAILS!!! The pain!..." when the string is pulled.
Gets ya right here, doesn't it? I love Christmas.