Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I Don't Think That's What They Meant By "U-Haul"

Los Angeles, CA

Okay, I'll admit that this story turns my blood to ice only because it reminds me so much of an ex of mine.
Officers were sent to investigate a report of a screaming woman in a U-Haul truck...
I can't be the only one who's had dates like that. Right?

Fine. Whatever. You and your well adjusted relationships. Bet nobody's tried to take you out with a household appliance, either. Lightweights.

Anyway, after a grueling 8 minute chase they pulled her over and took her into custody. What is it with women and inappropriate stolen vehicles? What's next? A UPS truck? Tearing through streets in a Papa John's pizza car?

Come on, ladies. The trick here is to be inconspicuous. Trust me, it helps.


David Markland said...

Dare I ask about the ex?

Daniel Hatadi said...

"You and your well adjusted relationships."

That's it. Perfect. NOW we can start building that profile...

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Daniel, if it's taken you this long to build a profile, I want you working for Scotland Yard when I go on my Whitechapel murder spree.

As to the ex, I have no idea where she is now. For reasons too complicated and embarassing to go into here, I could find out, but I'd really rather not. How does that go? Let sleeping banshees lie?

Daniel Hatadi said...

What do you expect? I'm a writer/programmer, not a profiler, dammit!

angie said...

"Let sleeping banshees lie?"

OMG, that's just beautiful. In a totally horrible kind of way.

But really, you must have figured out by now that psycho chickies are much more interested in the grand gesture than in quiet rage. What fun is psycho if it's kept under wraps?!

A dear friend of mine had an ex-girlfriend who could put this little U-Haul chippie to shame. Let's just say she re-enacted a scene from Fight Club & got someone arrested for assault. It would have been hilarious if it hadn't been so...well, so psycho.

David Terrenoire said...

What fun is psycho if it's kept under wraps?!

I had a girfriend who believed this to her very core.

During one argument I said I was leaving, just to get out of the house, but she had other ideas. She went around to the back of my VW, opened the engine compartment and just started yanking out wires by the handful.

A few years later, she broke into my house, found my girlfriend's (now wife's) photo, tore it into tiny pieces and left them on my bed.

I have more. Lots more.

Alex Adams said...

*shakes head*

I've never been a psycho chick, although I confess to harboring fantasies of revenge at various points during my single life. Am I missing out? Should I do something deranged now to make up for it?

Hulles said...

Alex, if you want to do something deranged, you're welcome to send me an email and start dating me long distance. I have tons of experience with psycho chicks and can give you tips on the finer points of female psychosis.