Wednesday, January 31, 2007

A New Twist On Ding Dong Ditch

Sherman Oaks, CA

Growing up, one of the things kids in my neighborhood would do is something they called Ding Dong Ditch. Basically, they'd ring a doorbell and then run away. Big laughs when you're an 8 year old and nobody's yet introduced you to huffing cans of Krylon.

Seems over in the Valley, someone's taken it a step farther.
The suspect apparently rang the doorbell and immediately shot the victim when he opened the door, Setzer said.

"There's been an ongoing problem in this neighborhood," Setzer said, declining to elaborate.
Wait. What? An ongoing problem? With people getting shot when they answer their door? How many times does it have to happen for it to be "ongoing"?

If you live in the Valley, you might want to consider answering the door with a loaded 12 gauge. Just sayin'.


Elizabeth Krecker said...

You're Adsense ad today cracks me up: "Prayer Volunteers."

Sounds like people need someone praying for them when they open their front door in L.A.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Funny, I get "Handguns For Self Defense". I mean, sure it fits in with the church theme. Who doesn't go to church unarmed these days?

Hulles said...

I got "Tyvek Coveralls", which certainly sound like they'd be handy to have around the old woodchipper.

And I always answer the door with a 12-guage. The pile of Jehovah's Witnesses by the front steps is starting to alarm the neighbors, however.

Patrick Shawn Bagley said...

Yep, nothing says, "No I would not like a copy of The Watchtower" like the sound of a 12-gauge slug being racked into the chamber.

What I like to do is nod at whatever the Jehovah's Witness says, then turn around in the doorway and shout into the house, "I don't give a fuck if the nipple clamps are too tight! If you don't quit your goddman whimpering back there, I'm gonna make you take that big butt plug without any lube!"

By the time I turn back around, the Witness is running down the driveway.

Hulles said...

Too funny. I think I'll try that line and wait until they're scampering down the driveway before I pop 'em. It seems more sporting somehow.