February 14th. The day when men scramble for that last, wilted rose at the Safeway checkout, that final, bent card where you have to scribble out "Mom" and hope your girlfriend doesn't notice. That day where droves of harried boyfriends and husbands wonder, yet again, what's so special about that special someone that a $20.00 handjob couldn't satisfy.
Cards, flowers, chocolates, jewelry. Really, what's in it for them? When was the last time a guy sat in his cubicle at work and fumed because his girflriend didn't send him a dozen Peruvian roses, hand-picked by third world laborers, whip marks still freshly stung on their backs?
Hence, Steak And A Blowjob Day.
Anyway, in celebration of the day made popular by Al Capone in 1929 here are a few thoughts on love from days past here at L.A. Noir. Okay, maybe not love per se, but you get the idea.
- Speaking Of Cemetery Love
- The Great Perv Migration of '06
- It's Always The Ugly Ones
- A Sure Sign The Housing Market's Going Flat
- Domestic Spats And The Enterprising Con Man
- It's A Sad Day When You Can't Even Trust The Hookers
- They Don't Call It Porn Valley For Nothing
And in other, other news, there's one day left to vote for your favorite Heavy Metal Noir story over at Hillbillies And Hitmen.
Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. And remember, nothing says I love you like a ballgag and a paddle.
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8 comments:
I got my girlfriend a gift subscription to L. A. Noir. I'm saving the ballgag etc. for somebody I like.
Just kidding. I neither have a girlfriend nor do I expect to meet anyone I like anytime soon. I do have a ballgag, though.
no butt plugs?
Whatever turns ya on, babe. Whatever turns ya on.
Hulles waves his butt plugs at Jehovah's Witnesses.
Nothing says "Happy Valentine's Day" like a set of nipple clamps, a bag of M&Ms and a fifth of Allen's coffee brandy. That's how we spell romance in Maine.
Oh Stephen, god bless ya. That has to be the best blog title I've ever seen.
Happy Valentine's Day. I hope your steak and blowjob were well done.
The Baby Jesus Butt Plug is really the way to go.
*insert witty quip about sticking it to The Man that I'm too undercaffeinated to figger out right now*
FYI - Steak and a Blow Job Day is in March. Right before the Ides. Lull 'em into a false sense of security...
In honour of such a great holiday, I offer the following Not-For-Hallmark greetings….
It’s March 14th
You know what that means
I’ll gobble your knob
And juggle your beans
Now eat your steak
Like a good little chum
And when you’re all finished
I’ll swallow your cum!
For more information about this wonderful holiday, make sure to visit: www.SteakAndBJ.com.
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