Sunday, February 11, 2007

Meth And The Hog-Nosed Coon

Lakeland Village, CA

So the Riverside County Sheriff hits Norman Vollan's house looking for meth. And they found it. Along with some child pornography and... a coatimundi.

Also known as the hog-nosed coon, the coatimundi is a raccoon-like animal native to Central and South America. Size of a large house-cat. Illegal in California.

The meth I understand. You can get that anywhere. Especially in Riverside. The porn, too. That's what the internet's for, after all.

But where the hell do you pick one of these up? Some guy pulls up to you in a van and says, "Hey, buddy, wanna buy a small, diurnal, South American mammal?"

Me, I'm holding out for a rhinoceros.

2 comments:

David Terrenoire said...

Once, when under the influence of a powerful psychedelic, I came over a hill and found a group (herd? flock? gaggle? pod?) of coatimundi and they all seemed to know my name.

I don't have a point here, I just like talking about coatimundi. Cute little guys.

And for the single funniest scene ever written involving a coatimundi, see Hiassen's Stormy Weather.

Hulles said...

Dang, I read Stormy Weather and I don't recall the scene. Maybe if he'd called it a hog-nosed coon.

Regarding the rhino, be suspicious of the seller if it's not a really really big van.