Thursday, April 12, 2007

Naked Is As Naked Does

Los Angeles, CA

Was there a full moon a few days ago? Naked, crazy gas pumped into Los Angeles? I mean, I wouldn't mind if it were at a Victoria's Secret runway show, but this.

In Van Nuys on Monday police were called to a house on Runnymeade and told that a woman was being held inside by her estranged husband, John Goudeaux. After knocking on the door and trying unsuccessfully to get Mr. Goudeaux to open the door, police broke it down.

Mr. Goudeaux was standing there, naked, threatening officers with a 3-foot metal bar (insert Freudian comment here).
After officers repeatedly ordered the man to drop the metal bar, Goudeaux advanced towards Officer Timothy Hope, 27. Officer Hope fired, striking the man. Goudeaux was taken to Holy Cross Hospital where he later died.
Naked doesn't stop a bullet, folks.

Naked does, however, apparently stop tasers and frontal assaults, as demonstrated by one Jaime Parra, who, wearing only a towel (at least he had some decency) was confronted by police for threatening a woman in Westlake.

Police ordered him to put his hands up, a move I really have to wonder about. I mean, he's wearing a towel. If he puts his hands up, the towel goes down, right? Of course, Mr. Parra's choice is, however, more baffling. He charged the police.
A TASER, front kick, and baton strikes were used in an effort to repel the suspect without success. Parra, now nude, ran to Occidental and Hyans Street pursued by the officers. Parra turned to confront the officers again, but ultimately was taken into custody.
What is this guy, Rasputin? Jesus.

It took four officers to take him down and one of them, Officer Matthew Vocke, had his right arm broken. Mr. Parra was taken to County USC to for a possible arm fracture.

I think we need a new PSA program on the scourge of naked crime. "Naked, drunk and stupid's no way to go through life, son. Stay safe. Stay clothed."

2 comments:

Christa M. Miller said...

I would say excited delirium, but NPR says that's a whitewash. Oh well.

Hulles said...

What do you mean, naked drunk and stupid's no way to go through life? Good lord, man, you've just demolished my entire raison d'etre.