The Least You Could Do Is Change The Title

Some movies shouldn't be remade. Why? Because there's nothing wrong with the original. Sure, if you want to do something that's fifty years old, I might give you a pass. Maybe. If Christian Bale's in it. But if it was made in the last 20 years and the actors are all still around and it was really goddamn good to begin with, don't fucking touch it.

Hence my problem with this.

Sam Bayer is in negotiations to direct Near Dark, a remake of the cult vampire movie Platinum Dunes is producing for Rogue Pictures, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

One of the few decent vampire movies out there and they're going to fuck it up. If you haven't seen it, go rent it. Dracula meets Natural Born Killers. Bill Paxton, Lance Henriksen, Jenette Goldstein.

Yeah, it's a B movie, but so what? It's a great B movie. How can you beat lines like, "Howdy. I'm gonna separate your head from your shoulders. Hope you don't mind none."

So, Hollywood, stop with the remakes. If you've really got that much of a hard on for vampire movies, do something a little more fucking original.

We now return you to your daily dose of crime.