Wednesday, December 19, 2007

You People Have Bad Aim

Lake Elsinore, CA

For three hours yesterday morning, Santa was a speed trap.

This sort of thing happens every year. Somebody gets stuck dressing as Santa and walking back and forth through a busy intersection to see if anyone fails to stop for him. Inevitably, lots of people get nailed. Fifty-two, in fact. And that's just in tickets. Seven cars were impounded and one guy was served with an arrest warrant.

Looked at one way this actually says less about people's willingness to break the law and more about their inability to perceive their surroundings. Reminds me of a perception test where you count the number of times a ball passes between a bunch of kids and, since you're watching the ball, you miss the gorilla that walks into the crowd.

Looked at another way, though, it says that people really hate Santa and don't know how to use their cars as weapons. Really, how tough is it to run over a red and white fat man? I see jaded people screaming about how their lives have been scarred because they didn't get that Skeletor action figure (It's not a doll, goddammit!) when they were twelve and now they're bitter and angry with a three pack a day habit, a pile of empty Jim Beam bottles in the trash, a kid in jail for GTA and a third wife who's run off to Vegas with the Mexican pool cleaner and the entire savings account, the whore.

Uh... yeah.

So, anyway, watch your ass Santa. There are some angry, angry people out there.

And it is too an action figure.

1 comment:

darleene said...

I dunno why people haven't learned. At Easter its always a gigantic bunny.