Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Buy These Books

For they are the roxxors. Or whatever it is you wacky kids are saying these days. Get off my lawn!

Anyway.

Books officially out yesterday from two of my favorite people. Bobbie Faye's (kinda, sorta, not exactly) Family Jewels by Toni McGee Causey and Severance Package by Duane Swierczynski.

Go read these. Now. Seriously.

Why are you still here?

There are books out there, dammit. On paper and everything. What is wrong with you? Go to a bookstore and buy the goddamn books. Oh, don't look at me like that. It's not my fault you can't spell Swie- Swre- Whatever the hell his name is.

Look, just ask the guy at the store. Yes, the one with the pimples.  No, the hot chick in the glasses reading Tolstoy is not going to talk to you.  She doesn't talk to anybody.  I've tried.  I--

Okay, fine, so she talked to you.  And you got her number.  Whatever.  I-- What?  Fuck you.  I am not a stalker.  She totally did not call me that.

... Yeah, okay.  So there's a restraining order.  What of it?

Look, just go buy the books, already.  Jesus.

And get off my lawn.

2 comments:

Steve Malley said...

Funniest freaking blog post I've read in forever.

And I'm buying them now. Promise.

angie said...

Haven't checked out Toni's newest, but can vouch for SEVERANCE PACKAGE. Just got it yesterday & it has already become a source of contention - the hubster snatched it out of my hands before I could get more than 25 pages in! It's really, really good so far...

And yeah, gotta watch out for those Tolstoy chicks. They got, whaddya call 'em...stan'ards!