Tuesday, December 02, 2008

So Much For The Two Minute Rule

Lancaster, CA

Bank robbers have to work fast. Get in, get out. Otherwise the cops show up while you're explaining your poor social skills to the teller and you spend the next five years making sure nobody shanks you for sneezing on the Jell-O in the cafeteria. Unless, of course, you don't.

A man and a woman kidnapped the assistant manager of a Downey Savings in Lancaster and held her in her home at gunpoint last night. This morning they drove her to the bank, cleared it out, dropped her off at home and stole her car.

All things considered that seems awfully polite. I mean, they didn't shoot her. Or tie her up and dump her in the trunk. That would have bought them a few hours at least.

Which makes me wonder why. But then I'm a suspicious sort.

If they're smart, and I have my doubts, then I think they're going to find the manager's car, if they haven't already, in a nearby parking lot. With nothing in it. The money's been moved to another car and parked somewhere else. The kidnappers aren't in town. They've gone on walkabout and they'll pick up their regular wheels with all the cash in it next week after things have quieted down a little.

Or maybe they're running around the desert stoned, naked and purple from an exploding dye pack. You never know.



Midtown Miscreant said...

or maybe there never where any robbers.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Thank you.

I wasn't actually going to come out and say that. I think I was having an optimistic day or something.

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks that way.