Wednesday, March 25, 2009

She'll Have The Best Rack In Jail

Huntington beach, CA

People commit identity theft for a few different reasons.  Money, sure. Flat screen tv or a new ipod, absolutely.  Boob job, not so much.

Yvonne Pampellone, 30 (sure she is), allegedly stole someone's identity and charged $12K in liposuction and breast enhancements from The Pacific Center For Plastic Surgery in Huntington Beach.

Wow.  There's some freaky psychology right there.  Wonder what the inside of her head's like.  Think about that for a second.  She stole an identity to be somebody else so that she could get surgery to be somebody else.  Her therapist might want to brush up on his Escher.

And who'd she get the work done for?  Her boyfriend?  Herself?  Her desperate desire to be wanted and loved and my god won't a new body fix all of that, daddy, please?

I have mixed views about plastic surgery.  On the one hand I get the desire to match an ideal.  Lots of pressure there for men and women.  Big boobs (side note: I accidentally typed "books" there at first - tells you where my mind's at - The hell is wrong with me?), flat stomach, pecs, ass, whatever.  We all want to look good.  We all want to get some.  We all want to be loved.  Everyone has the right to do whatever the fuck they want with their bodies.

On the other hand you're paying someone to slice into you, suck shit out, fold shit around and sew it all back together again.  Surgery. Like knock you out you might not wake up again type stuff.

And on the third hand (Trust me, I got a lot of hands) I've got a tattoo.  I'm planning on getting more.  And on the fourth hand... well, I could go on all day.

So, yeah, when it comes to identity issues, I'm a fucking poster child.  Like that's news.  Really, you have no idea.

Good luck, Yvonne.  Between the 12K in medical bills, the 20K in bail money, the god knows how much for your lawyer and therapists, I think you're going to need it.



Midtown Miscreant said...

A budding film career in the valley? When I first read about her I assumed she was just a peeler or other adult entertainer type, who couldn't afford to throw her dope money away on surgery, so she went the fraud related route. Then again I tend to think the worst of people based on past lessons.


Sophie Littlefield said...

"Her therapist might want to brush up on his Escher."

hey - that was good! really good! :)