Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Career Limiting Move

Fountain Valley, CA

Many jobs require similar skill sets.  Accountants can cross-over into banking, dry-wallers often do carpentry.  And butchers, it seems, can become hitmen.

Frank Sharpski was attacked last month by a guy with a machete. Cut off his fingers, fractured his skull, did a neat little Chinatown number on his nose. Survived, which I gather was not the point of the exercise.

As it turns out, Mary Sharpski, Frank's wife, appears to have been sleeping with Michael Shores, Frank's roommate.  Seeing as how Frank was cramping their style the next step was obvious if you happen to be into cemetery love.

Enter one Antonio Ortega, butcher and would be murderer.  If you're going to hire a hatchetman who better qualified than somebody who uses a knife all day?  Sure he only uses it on cuts of beef, maybe butterflies some chicken breasts, but meat's meat, right?

Except for that whole running, screaming, fighting back bit.

Might want to rethink those career options, Antonio.  Something more along the lines of kitchen work in Corcoran.

 

3 comments:

spyscribbler said...

That scenario always boggles my mind. It's not like it's difficult to get a divorce in our day and age! I guess there's still the money thing.

Midtown Miscreant said...

All good prison cooks start out as would be killers, and the food is indicitive of it.

CMS said...

It just goes to show that certain skills can only be applied in a certain way...