Check The Guys From The Circle K

Behind The Orange Curtain, CA

7-11. Where else can you load up on potato chips and cheese-stuffed hot dogs and wash it all down with a nuclear red, frozen diabetes cup. They got good stuff at 7-11. Like... well, there's... Uh...

Oh, right. Cash.

Since June 2nd, 16 7-11's have been knocked over by two guys who walk in acting like customers, pull a kitchen knife on the guy behind the counter and take off with some the loose change in the cash register.

That's got to be, what, a couple hundred bucks a pop? No wonder they've hit 16 stores. Walk out of there with a garbage bag full of nickels and dimes.

You guys want suspects? See if there's an AM/PM or a Circle K nearby. It's a convenience store turf war. Pretty soon there'll be rioting in the streets with Big Gulps and Twizzlers.

Man, I used to love that place when I was a kid. I'd steal quarters from my mom's purse and run down and buy a Slurpee, comic book and half a dozen Pixie Sticks. Jet fuel for 10-year-olds. And this really nasty purple bubble gum that makes my eyes water and teeth itch just thinking about. I don't know what the hell I was thinking.

Should have been robbing the place. That shit really was too nasty to pay for.