Monday, July 13, 2009

Every Problem Looks Like A Nail

Los Angeles, CA

There's nothing wrong with being blunt, though sometimes it can lead to beating people with your arguments. Or with a hammer.

Brian Wright, 54, was arrested on suspicion of killing one Lidval Baptist, 28, by bludgeoning him to death with a hammer. He is being held in lieu of a million dollar bail.

Now why a hammer? You'd think in L.A. there'd be a gun within arm's reach pretty much 24/7. Maybe he likes the personal touch? Over and over again?

This could spark a rash of tool killings. Like in those movies. Chainsaws. Nail guns. Garden Weasels! Quick, we have to have a poorly thought out, disastrously executed knee jerk reaction to tools!

And picking on Baptists. For shame. What's wrong with Mormons or atheists? And those Buddhists. Sure, they say they're non-violent. But I've seen those Kung-Fu movies. And I've known a Wiccan or two who could use a good bludgeoning.

Yeah, I know. That was weak. Look, I can only do so much funny at 5am. Give me a break.

1 comment:

Kieran Shea said...

you know, i wasn't going to comment on this but nearly simultaneously while i was reading this, showtime was running "Prick Up Your Ears" --the film about Joe Orton (played by Gary Oldman)--the notorious dark playwright who was, wait for it, beat to death with a hammer by his lover. And yeah, I look up and it was the hammer scene. Ever read Orton? I suggest LOOT. Good crime stuff there. Wiki hooks you with a plot summary: