Sunday, August 16, 2009

Imagine What He Can Do With A Carry-on

Buena Park, CA

Packing a suitcase takes skill. It's like starting a fire without matches, or cooking a turkey. Me, doesn't matter how much stuff I've got I'm still wedging some last thing into a side pocket. Could take a tip or two from this guy down in Buena Park.

He got a whole woman in one.

A woman was found stuffed in a suitcase in a dumpster in Buena Park on Franklin Street yesterday morning. At first cops thought it was a child because it wasn't a very big suitcase. But no, they figure she's in her twenties.

Body probably got dumped some time the night before. Guy who found her was rummaging through the dumpster for cans and didn't see her there. Found her the next morning when he went back, presumably to dig through more stuff.

Why he was digging twice through a dumpster that's sitting in front of a vacant building is a little confusing, though.

Anyway, looks like the body's in one piece.

It's actually pretty surprising what you can shove a corpse into. Samsonite's are great for that kind of thing. Roomy, hard shell. Stick with the ones with wheels. Your back will thank you later.

If you're going for more than one you really want to use a car. You can get a family of four, their dog and maybe a grandmother into the trunk of a Chrysler. Twelve if they're midgets.

And Cadillacs? They've got the highest Midgets Per Trunk ratio in the nation. You could shove the entire Munchkin cast from the Wizard of Oz into one of those babies and still have room for Toto.

It's all in how you stack 'em.

1 comment:

Mike MacLean said...

"And Cadillacs? They've got the highest Midgets Per Trunk ratio in the nation."

Now there's an slogan...

The new Cadillac. Anti-lock brakes, passenger side air bag, and the highest midget per trunk ratio for any full-sized sedan in America.