Back in August of '99 Buford O'Neal Furrow Jr., whose name I will endeavor to not mock... Okay, I lied. Buford? Seriously? The fuck names their child Buford? I mean besides inbred, bucktoothed hillbillies in the Appalachians? Buford?
Anyway, back in '99 Buford shot up a Jewish daycare center in Granada Hills. He was, surprise! a white supremacist. Injured three kids, a receptionist and murdered a Filipino postman because he was, you know, Filipino. Sure, they eat some fucked up stuff, but that's no reason to shoot a guy.
So, anyway, Buford gets two consecutive life sentences and an extra 110 years tacked on for, I dunno, having a fucked up hillbilly name? Being a brain-dead asshole? Shooting kids? The possibilities are endless.
Well, ten years have gone by and Buford has made some changes.
Seems he's sorry. You don't say?
"I feel a life based on hate is no life at all."I don't know about that. I mean, I hate a lot of people. Folks who cut me off in traffic. Those guys at the restaurant down the street who always get my order wrong. G. Gordon Liddy. Seems to work for me.
Of course, I'm not shooting anyone over it. Though Liddy could use a bullet as far as I'm concerned.
"About 5 years ago I threw away my racist books, literature, etc., and took up a new leaf," Furrow wrote. "I now publicly renounce all bias toward anyone based on race, creed, color, sexual orientation, etc., and am a much happier person."Well, that's great. So happy for you. There's only one problem.
I'm sorry, but you spend the entirety of your life chanting the white supremacist mantra and ten years in the cooler throws that all down the crapper? I don't buy it. Maybe there's no angle here. It's not like he's up for parole or anything. Maybe he's just a moron.
Okay, he's probably just a moron.
Boo-fuckin'-hoo. Oh, he's sooo sorry. I'm sure Mr. Ileto's family are tremendously relieved to hear that. And those kids that they had to pull the bullets out of, like Alan Stepakoff?
"There are three points I'd like to make," Stepakoff said. "One is, this doesn't change what he did. The second point is we are glad he has renounced his hateful beliefs. The third point is I'm not fully convinced of his sincerity."How very diplomatic of you, young Mr. Stepakoff.
You're a better man than I'll ever be.