Thursday, October 29, 2009

Blown Back To Childhood

Woodland Hills, CA

My dad was a drill sergeant who wanted to be a mad scientist. Drill sergeants are teachers. Mad scientists are crazy motherfuckers.

It's an interesting combination.

When I was about twelve he decided to show me respect for gunpowder by pouring out a (not long enough) line of it ending in a (too large) pile.

Important Safety Tip: Do not get close to a pile of gunpowder when your crazy motherfucker mad scientist drill sergeant dad hands you a match and says, "Light it."

I went blind for about 15 minutes and the entire right side of my head was singed. I kept most of my right eyebrow, but I stunk of burnt hair for two days and my ears rang for a week.

Apparently, this brand of stupid is more common than you might think.

A father in Woodland Hills trying to show his son the dangers of gunpowder blew off one of his own fingers, injured his son, shattered a window and managed to get a visit from the bomb squad.

And all with one match. I'm impressed.

What do you think, kid learn his lesson?

I'm all for experiential learning, but just like you don't teach your kid respect for the ocean by jumping into a shark tank, it's usually not a good idea to blow yourself up to get him to understand that being blown up is bad.

You want to teach your children something about explosives and fire? Take them to see this. No one hardly ever gets injured or dies.

And if they do you won't feel like an idiot because it's your fault.


Gerard Saylor said...

I attended an informal class on reloading a year ago. The dude teaching the class lit a small pile of leftover powder. That guy had the sense to do it outside on a concrete slab with a small amount of powder.

I read a story by one fella who said his uncle's idea of teaching him a lesson on hearing safety was to take a .357 into the garden shed and fire a round. Idiot.

David Terrenoire said...

Sometimes it takes a demonstration.

In one of my classes in the Army, we were taught how to McGyver a radio out of spit, soda cans and rat assholes.

One guy got bored, plugged two wires into the bench outlet and then, with the other two ends, tried to fry a spider who was minding his own business.

The guy flew backwards about 4 feet and hit a wall. The only sound you could hear in the room was the tiny chuckle of an amused spider.