Tuesday, May 11, 2010

That's Gonna Make For A Pretty Nice Lawn

San Diego, CA

Oh, Geezer Bandit, when are you going to stopping showing up us young folks? We get it. You're better than we are. You're one step ahead of the Man. You're nimble, you're quick. You're like the wind. You're, dare I say it? spry.

The Geezer Bandit, so named for knocking over banks and being, you know, on the older side, is at it again. Today was number nine.

Number nine. This fucker has stolen money from NINE banks. And nobody's caught him.

He's at an age where some people need walkers, adult diapers, pants that go up to their chests. I'd say he probably doesn't saunter out of the bank so much as shuffle.

Guard probably holds the door open for him, tips his hat, says have a nice day. Sir.

I'd be really bummed if it turns out this is some younger guy in really good old man makeup. Impressed, sure, but not as impressed as I am at nine banks getting robbed by Uncle Fester there.

Oh, please, Geezer Bandit. Be real. Be the criminal legend of whom songs are sung, like Robin Hood, Jesús Malverde, Yogi Bear.

But beware, Geezer Bandit. Eventually, the man's gonna get ya.

Just like Butch and Sundance.

4 comments:

inkgrrl said...

Gives ya hope for the future, don't it?

David Terrenoire said...

I wasn't even near Santee and I have witnesses to prove it.

And adult diapers? I'll get you for that, Stephen.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Holy christ, are you still alive? Man, I was sure you'd have finally bit it in a weeklong binge of coke and Panamanian hookers. Good to see I was wrong.

David Terrenoire said...

It takes more than that to put this man down.

I've been around, just taking a break from blogging.

But I am reading. And writing. It's quite liberating.