Friday, June 04, 2010

Gunshot Wounds: Nature's Way of Saying 'Slow Down'

El Monte, CA

Sometimes the universe tries to give you a hint that you need to take a break from your busy schedule. Most times we don't listen to it, though. Like Rudy Barbosa, 24, of El Monte.

See, Rudy's a go-getter. Ambitious, driven. He robbed a 7-11 in El Monte yesterday. Stole some cigarettes. Then he headed to Downtown L.A. where he carjacked somebody at knifepoint.

Then he hit a pawn shop in West Covina. That didn't go so well. The proprietors shot him.

But did that stop him? Of course not. This man's a modern day Rasputin. Well, without the poisoning, castration, drowning and multiple gunshot wounds. He's just got the one. And still has his nutsack as far as I'm aware.

Then he went to a mall in El Monte and stabbed a guy at a jewelry counter. After that, he broke into somebody's garage and stole some stuff.

Cops caught up with him there but he took off in the car he stole. Cops chased him around a bit until he slammed into another car.

Guess he just needed to get hit by more metal than you find in a slug.


Pop Culture Nerd said...

Who's your source on the status of his nutsack?

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Basic tenets of journalism. If something had happened to his nutsack, believe me, they'd have said something.

Eric Maundry said...

Quite a day for this fellow. I wonder what he has planned for the weekend..

Pamila Payne said...

See, if more pawn shop owners kept tranquilizer guns under the counter, this sort of petty crime spree could be turned into a much more amusing kind of crime spree - the kind where the would-be robber gets locked in a latex fetish suit and hung from a chain in the back room.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Which is exactly why I keep a loaded dart gun with me at all times. Pamila.

That gimp suit ain't gonna fill itself.