Sunday, July 25, 2010

Put Down The Yogurt And No One Gets Hurt

Venice, CA

At one point there were those who saw Venice as the kind of place that would lead to the downfall of America. Those damn hippies with their dreadlocks, hemp shirts and vegan ways. What's a god-fearin' American to do?

Pull out your guns and take their raw milk.

Armed investigators for the Los Angeles County District Attorney's office raided Rawesome Foods in Venice last week looking for unpasteurized dairy products.

No, really. Drew their guns and everything.

Isn't it nice to know that the DA's got a bunch of armed, paranoid freaks working for them? I feel safer from the ravages of organically made cheeses and yak's milk already.

Look, if you really want to do the gun thing go down a couple blocks and hit one of the Shoreline Crips' crack houses, or go after Venice 13. Hell, take down a medical marijuana dispensary if you really have to, not the fucking raw food people.

The fuck did you think was going to happen? Somebody was gonna come at you with an organic squash?

"Watch it, men, it's watermelon season. And you remember what happened to Hendricks last week. He was a good cop, god rest his soul."

At least nobody pulled a trigger.

5 comments:

Chuck said...

Sad part is, raw milk's actually pretty good if you get it from a quality producer -- i.e. someone who doesn't sicken their cows.

PA allows farms to get certified to sell it, so it's legal, now.

Drank it, never got sick.

-- c.

Chris said...

I'm a fan of the raw milk movement, if you want to call it that (first learned about it in The Revolution Will Not Be Microwaved: Inside America's Underground Food Movements by Sandor Ellix Katz,if you care). I'm not a milk drinker, but a local dairy here sells raw milk cheddar cheese that is to friggin' die for.

This story is awful, in that hilariously ridiculous way that "official business" can only be.

Mike Dennis said...

Actually, now that I think about it, RAW MILK sounds like a pretty good noir title.

Kerry said...

I'm staying in the "other" Venice at the moment (more raw seafood than milk, natch), and the biggest crime here seems to be people trying to hop the waterbus without a ticket.

This, after France where I never saw even *one* cop of any kind until in Paris, and then mainly guarding the American Consulate (from expats demanding their raw dairy products, undoubtedly).

Robert Carraher said...

Makes me feel safer knowing that they Protect and Serve....