Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Nothing Says I Love You Like An Ice Pick To The Head

Yorba Linda, CA

Break ups can be ugly things. But it's all perfectly normal. Part of the process. There are hurt feelings to express, wrongs to address, icepicks to repeatedly stab into your ex's head as he's leaving church.

Elizabeth Cuevas Villanueva, 47, is being held on suspicion of attempted homicide, felony domestic violence, assault with a deadly weapon and brandishing a weapon after hiding in the back of her ex-boyfriend's car and, when he started to pull away from the curb, stabbing him several times in the head and shoulders.

Not quite sure why she did it, though I'm going to go out on a limb here and say she's bugfuck crazy.

In other cemetery love news, the body of Jacquelyn Kotarac, 49, was found in her boyfriend's chimney in Bakersfield. Seems he wouldn't let her in. She tried taking a shovel to the back door and when that didn't work she climbed the roof and tried the chimney.

By that time the boyfriend had left the house, presumably unaware of her location, and the body was found three days later when a house-sitter noticed the smell.

So what have we learned here today, boys and girls?

THEY'RE NOT WORTH IT. Okay, maybe a little.

No! Mostly no. Villanueva is looking at some serious time on her hands and Kotarac, well, she's dead. I don't care how mad you are at the guy, climbing down a chimney to get to him is just stupid.

The ice pick stabbing, though, was probably pretty cathartic.

1 comment:

Matthew McBride said...

Great post, and what did I learn from this? Only skinny girls should climb down chimneys.