Left To His Own Devices

Huntington Beach, CA

There are a lot of ways to kill yourself. The simplest ways are the most effective.

But the convoluted ones are usually just as good.

Police found the body of a man in a pick-up truck Friday morning after receiving calls about a suspicious vehicle. Seems all the windows were covered over with sunshades.

He had a bag over his head with a tube connected to "a device". Seriously, that's what they're calling it. A device. They're treating it as a suicide.

What kind of device? I have no idea. They're not saying. Presumably it's some sort of suicide device. Maybe it's hooked to a gas tank, a jar of weaponized cow urine, angry bees. Who knows.

Whatever it is it's got to be something complicated or they wouldn't be calling it a device. They'd call it what it is. Maybe they don't know. How do you think that press conference would go?

"The man in question died after being hooked to a thingamajigger or some sort of whatchamacallit. Possibly a hoo-hah or flabberjabber."

Yeah, I'm thinking "device" was probably the way to go on this one.