Thursday, June 23, 2011

Noir At The Bar L.A. - 'Cause St. Louis Can't Have All The Fun

There's this thing the cool kids have been doing out in St. Louis.

What? Yes, there ARE cool kids in St. Louis. Shut up.

Fine writers like Jed Ayres, Scott Phillips, Matt McBride, Chris La Tray, Anthony Neil Smith, John Hornor Jacobs, Dan O'Shea, Malachi Stone and Frank Bill - who's got a short story coming out in Playboy.

Have YOU been published in Playboy? NO, YOU FUCKING WELL HAVEN'T SO SHUT UP.

So what am I talking about? I'm talking about Noir At The Bar.

Every so often these miscreants and psychopaths get together and read filthy, nasty, violent and REALLY FUCKING GOOD noir fiction to a room full of fools who sit there slack jawed at the verbal assault. If somebody doesn't walk away feeling like they've had their soul violated there is something seriously wrong with them.

And I am fucking tired of missing it. So, we're doing one out here.

That's right. We're gonna spend a night hanging out and reading really violent, depressing, nasty noir at ya.

Eric Beetner, Mystery Dawg and I are figuring out where and when. Emails are going out, calls are being made, our people are contacting their people.

But we could use your help. See, L.A.'s too goddamn big.

Eastsiders don't want to go west of La Brea, Westsiders lose their shit over going downtown. Folks in the South Bay think LAX is too far north.

Nobody goes to the Valley.

So the question is, where the fuck do we hold this thing?

We're taking suggestions and checking out places. So if you can think of somewhere that would let us do this let us know. If we can have it at an actual bar great, but more importantly we need a place that we can set up chairs, have a corner somebody can stand in and read at everybody else, and isn't so loud you can't hear what anybody's saying.

And it's gotta be free or at least VERY VERY CHEAP.

So, we'll see.

Anyway, send questions, suggestions, ideas or naked pictures to

Give us a couple months to get our shit together.  It's going to take a while to get this train running, but it'll happen.  And we'll let you know when it does.


jedidiah ayres said...

you kids have fun

Kevin Burton Smith said...

I'm in Palmdale, and I'll make it. Just gimme the word.

And I gotta tell ya, for a bunch of would-be tough guys who say "fuck" all the time, some of these LA dudes sure can wimp out.

Have it somewhere central and just do it. Everyone seemed to make it to The Mystery Book Store's closing -- have it in Westwood.

Keith Rawson said...

This just might be's six hours by car, but 45 minutes by plane, hhhhmmmmm...(But good luck with this guys, I know it will be huge.)

Josh Stallings said...

Yes. I am so in!

Al Leverone said...

I'd like to push the envelope and suggest Londonderry, NH.

Sabrina E. Ogden said...

Jealous. Can't we make a touring Noir Bar? I feel soooo left out.