Monday, October 24, 2011

Can I Get Fries And A Machete With That?

Los Angeles, CA

You know what these four things have in common? Machete. Taser. Gun. Taco Truck.

No, it's not that you can seriously fuck somebody up with all of them, though that's a good guess. I had a burrito this one time Downtown and man my ass was sore for days. I don't know what the hell was in that thing. Rat meat? Cockroach poop? Fuck, I don't know. But seriously, I was in the bathroom hollering like a banshee for like...



Anyway, the real answer is that they're all part of Saturday's morning fun in Koreatown.

This guy's out at a taco truck around 4am, getting a burger, maybe. I don't know. When this crazy motherfucker walks up, pulls out a machete and starts swinging it around like a 2x4. People are screaming, the owner of the taco truck bails, and crazy motherfucker drags his victim into the back of the truck, presumably to wail on him some more with an old Aztec gardening utensil.

Then he hops behind the wheel, shoves the car into gear and does this:

See, THIS is why we have valet parking in this town.

Nice aim.

Guy gets out of the car. Cops tase him.

Does nothing. Doesn't drop him. Doesn't even slow him down.

Now when you zap somebody with 50,000 volts and he doesn't so much as sneeze that's what we call "A Bad Sign".

And that's when the guns come out. Yeehaw.

No word on why the machete man came out to play. But both victim and Crazy Motherfucker are in the hospital in serious condition, so I'm sure we'll hear more soon.


Thomas Pluck said...

I knew "MAchete" was a documentary.

Elizabeth said...

Yes, but the tacos were ok, right?

mad_science said...