Awful Spry For An Old Guy

San Luis Obispo, CA

Dye packs are the whoopee-cushions of the bank robbing world. Seriously, they're comedy gold. Like blowing all the windows out of your getaway car as you pass the cops responding to the call, for example.

But besides being a good tagging tool, now they're good for age verification.

The FBI released a new video of the Geezer Bandit a guy who appears to be in his 70's who's been knocking over banks throughout California since 2009. It shows him walking out to his car and having the dye pack blow up in his face.

One of the theories that's been floating around is that the Geezer is actually a much younger man who is using an old-person mask made by one of the effects houses that sells those sorts of things to the general public. This video gives a pretty good indication that this might be true.

Because when that thing goes off boy-howdy does that fucker run.

Now having shit blow up in your face can override all sorts of things, like, you know, your bowels.  But stiff joints and arrhythmia are kinda tough to not feel, ya know?

Or are they?  In the interest of science let's set off a bunch of flash-bangs at random people and see how quickly they run away.

Oh, wait, we already have that answer.

Thanks, Oakland PD!