Friday, March 29, 2013

Ho Ho! That IS A Knee-Slapper!

Los Angeles, CA

Dark days, my friends. Dark days, indeed! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that terrible viper of abuse has reared its ugly head to destroy your families, shatter the lives of all you hold dear!

But fret not! For with all other drugs swept away, and all problems of abuse solved, Federal and local law enforcement agencies have set their sites on this scourge! This most ignoble of gasses! The dreaded NITROUS-OXIDE!

Seriously. They're cracking down on Whip-Its. As opposed to whippets, which the L.A. Times does not seem to realize is a particular type of dog. Man, if you're huffing a whippet just go drown yourself in shame right now.

Last week a joint taskforce of the LASD and assorted Federal agencies went after 17 business and nine delivery vehicles for selling nitrous.

They called this... wait for it... Operation No Laughing Matter.

Good fucking Christ. What, is it suddenly 1968 again? Is Nixon in office?

Is Nitrous dangerous? Well, yeah, of course it is. There's this little problem of oxygen deprivation, which is a direct cause of being "too fucking stupid to live". The technical term is asphyxiation. Put your dick in your hands, a tie round your neck and suddenly you get to slap "auto-erotic" in front of that.

Other side effects? Well... B-12 deficiency? Problems in pregnancy after chronic exposure? A particular type of cerebral lesion after several hours. Oh, wait, no. That's only in rats.

But addiction, right? It's gotta be... No? No addiction? Huh.

So why is this shit illegal again? Oh, wait. In many places it isn't. Seems in California possession is a misdemeanor. In fact, it's not even classified as a drug. It's handled by the FDA under the Food Drug and Cosmetics Act. In fact, a violation of that law is what some of these people got hit for. And not having it, it's used in welding, after all, but for mis-branding it.

This is up there with L.A. county going after raw milk distributors a few years ago. Come on, if you're going to have a crackdown on something, try cracking down on something that isn't stupid.

You know, for a change.

1 comment:

Kerry said...

Yet another substance that could be legalized for recreational use (N2O bars), taxed to high heaven, and get it the hell out the way of wasting law enforcement time. OMG.